A parent’s role in the weaning process

So let’s say you are comfortable with the idea of moving your 2-year-old out of the parents’ bedroom, to sleep in his or her bed. What should you prepare yourself for?

There is going to be a lot of crying. We know that: The child is smart, and knows how to play her cards. Up to now, when he cried, Mom came to his rescue, and took him to her bed. Now what?

Mom cannot do the work of the child. The child needs to cry to release her feelings. But there is no reason to be angry at the child, or even frustrated. The child is learning to express his negative feelings and to control them. It is a good thing for the child. So, despite the noise and the negativity the child expresses, Mom should be calm and supportive–supportive of the child in their expressing negative feelings, being angry with her, and with all the efforts to get her to change her mind. Communicate, both verbally and non-verbally, loving, trusting messages , and just be present to witness your baby learn to be separated from, yet still connected to his Mom by love.

PS I know it is not politically correct to endorse letting your child cry, let alone CAUSE him or her to cry. Please let me know if you feel strongly that I am wrong – I do have a lot more to say about it! Also: it is possible you will change my mind…

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