On having a problem

Upon hearing I am a parenting coach and educator, parents often ask me: “So, what do you do with a screaming child?” Or something similar. It sounds like they are testing me, to see if I know the one single miracle maneuver that will relieve them from a stressful issue in their life.

This is embarrassing. What can I say? Should I say: “Do you want a “one size fits all” answer? Are you a parent like everyone else, or like some standard, or an ideal? Is your child like all other children? Does he or she eat like everyone else? Sleep like everyone else? Smile like all children?”

If you and your child are unique, how can a “one size fits all answer” can help you? Even if I tell you all that research has to say on the subject, how would you know if your situation is a replica of the laboratory’s assumptions?

What I end up saying to the parents is simply: “It depends.” And from here a process of learning can start.

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